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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I decided to start up another topic... "How has medical school affected your love or personal life?"

Let me start by saying that I dont have a love life! Haha, so that right there says a lot to me. Other then that, I'm away from my family and friends. I only see them once a year (I go home for christmas vacation). I remember when I first started out, I went through depression and I didn't even know it.
Now, I deal with the homesickness but it is still hard at times, especially on holidays.
How about you?
 

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hrana said:
Eh, I was always told that if you had time to miss people that you weren't studying hard enough. :lol:
No offense, but I'll have to disagree with that one. In order to stay healthy, you need to make sure you are taking care of the physical, mental, and social health- as it is clearly stated in the Holistic triangle, as well as Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid."
It's true that when it comes to studying and getting good grades, you really gotta concentrate- but a person who constantly studies, especially a subject which can get so intense and complicated (such as medicine) needs to relax his/her mind. It is extremely important for us to make sure we take care of our mental and social health and we can do that only by communicating with people, relatives, families, friends...etc. etc. - Or as Natacha mentioned earlier about having a love life. It will be hard for you to maintain a relationship perhaps (but that just depends on how well managed and organized you are...I personally think anything is possible- you can still have a relationship or find time for your friends, as well as study and do well- just need to learn to manage your time well and make sure your partner or whoever understands and is considerate about your studying hours) - so basically there is nothing wrong with missing someone...or wanting to go out and spend some time, get some fresh air because it's all normal, healthy behaviors- which are helping you to sustain your mental and social health.

I'm not sure if I am making sense here lol, but to make the long lecture short - you can not be a healthy person even when you're missing just one element of the holistic triangle. Many people tend to think that just being physically healthy, and having no illness means you're a healthy person- but it's incorrect. Total wellness and good health can only be obtained if you take care of all three elements of health...and last but not least remember...you're studying so hard and so much...why? So later on you can live a peaceful and "rich" life- but what good is that life if you haven't taken care of your health :?: -

As the saying goes- "When you have HEALTH, you have it ALL"
:D
 

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Although my initial response was sarcasm hardly befitting a drawn out lesson in behavioral science, I'll bite and quickly respond. Ah yes, good ole Abraham Maslow's psychobabble. I tend to agree with Wahba and Bridwell's stance in "Maslow reconsidered: A review of research on the need hierarchy theory" where they not only discounted the ranking of needs but also questioned the existence of a definite hierarchy at all. I can go on and on about the criticisms of self-actualization and transcendence but I'll spare you.

I do agree there must be a balance between studying and other activities but I've found that attachment can be debilitating during these years in medical school. Cultivating meaningful relationships takes far more than the usual 10 minute break for every 50 minutes spent studying. The eventual outcome of most of these relationships is either time that should have been spent studying is wasted or an S.O. is unfairly neglected. Either way focus is taken away from an important part of our lives--school. I've found, through observation, many people in high stress environments focus on a silver bullet to cure their stresses and many times this leads to haphazard activities (relationships being one of them), drinking, drugs, etc.

Family are another story. I've been out of the house since I graduated high school and was never one of those people who stuck around in my home town for college unlike many other South Asians. I suppose those first few months in college were tough but there was always the telephone. My parents would have loved to have me home all the time but I went when I needed to get away. By the time medical school rolled around, this really wasn't an issue to deal with. Quite frankly, if homesickness gets bad, then why not fly home for the weekend? Recently, my sister and I met up with my parents in Southern California for a little reunion. It was no more than a 5 or 6 hour flight and at the end of the weekend we went back to our respective schools. Now both of us are content in our own way for a few more months.

I'm rambling now. The point of what I am saying is a career in medicine revolves around the concept of delayed gratification. People should take their breaks and do what they like but relationships beyond family are a disaster waiting to happen. In the end, no one forced us into this life so deal with the punches as they come. :)
 

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lolz no need to spare me :D I love challenges lol. But yea I know what you mean...however, I still feel that you can do all that stuff I mentioned and still do well...we're all different, and the way we study or how much we study is different from others.
When something or someone is extremely IMPORTANT to you...trust me you will find time for them- AND still do well in school.

Some people are experts at it...while others aren't. But your opinion is also right.

I respect everyone's opinion, I just believe mine is the correct one :wink: lolz JUST KIDDING :!: :!: :!:
Actually I respect your opinion on it more since you have gone through medical studies and I haven't...so you're probably right. But all my life, I have done lots of work- for instance, I take honors and college level courses all through out my school years. I have to attend 9 periods a day, every single day, without any lunch or free period, because during my lunch period, I take a biology research class. I have two after school clubs which I attend each week, and for one of them I am the President, so I gotta do extra work and be on top of everything. In the program I am currently placed in, we get about 5 hours of homework everyday, and a quiz or exam each week.
On Saturdays, I attend a College program, where I travel to 3 different hospitals, and visit the different units? there- working with doctors and nurses. And on Sundays, I work- I am a part time teacher at an Islamic school, where I teach Arabic, Quranic, and Islamic studies. So every week, I gotta plan my lecture for my class. I gotta make up homework sheets, projects, Review Sheets for the kids, make up exams, grade stuff and all that other stuff which comes along with being a teacher.
I have been teaching for three years now-AND TRUST ME...even with all this work (actually to you guys, since you're med students, this might not be considered "work" at all lol since your studies are much complicated, I am sure. However, for my level, I believe that this is not easy- and despite this I am able to do all those things I mentioned earlier. My school and my program has taught me to work under pressure- to get things done and still have time for things I enjoy and people/person I love. So that's why I believe it can be done depending on the person you are, because I, personally make sure I get it done since there are other things important to me than my studies alone. I demand from myself to have time for other MORE important things, and still manage to get above 90 average in my classes. However, this might all change once I step into medical school lolz...but I am just basing my opinion on the work I have now.

-Plz don't think I am trying to brag because really I am not...I am just defending my opinion. It all depends on the kind of person you are, your study habits, how well and quickly you learn things, and how MUCH the other stuff is important to you, as well as your time management skills. Like I said before, things other than school are also very important to me so I demand that I find time for them every single day :!:
 

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I agree that we make time whenever something is important enough to warrant it. I suppose I'm just a misologistic misanthrope with pessimistic tendencies (just kidding).

Your daily schedule is pretty intense--I just got tired reading about it. Is there any reason you enjoy subjecting yourself to so much?
 

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lol...this is gonna be hard to believe but I am ALSO (which I forgot to mention above) a big procrastinator- like all other kids in my class lol...but it's just that in our program which we have been placed (we call it hell) has taught us to work under pressure and make sure we get things done even if we procrastinate. Since we keep on procrastinating...we are perfect at it...as they say practice makes perfect...but trust me even though I procrastinate...I always get my things done on time...never handed it in late- and I do a good job at it too.
My siblings and my friends sometimes hate me for that coz they are like wtf- how do you get that work done when you spend blha blha many hours doing blha blha (personal stuff- no need to mention(but nothing bad-DON'T ASSUME) lolzz This is just the way I am.
But my mom complains coz I don't got time to do "house work" like clean...cook...even though I have been forced to wash dishes.
I get that stuff done because i have to...I don't got any other choice...simple as that. I only have one goal in life- All this other stuff is just to help me reach that goal...like working hard...making my parents proud, etc will help me to reach that one goal...which I demand that I'll reach before I die- Inshallah. lol As far the teaching thing goes...I have always loved to teach; it's been a passion of mine...and as I grew older, I realized I am not teaching for a living NO WAY lol...so I said let me reach that wish of teaching (not for a living though). That's when I got this idea that I should apply to become a teacher at the Islamic School. I use to study in an Islamic school for 5 years on Sundays and 3 years ago I graduated...that's when I applied to teach- started out volunteering for 4 Sundays and the principle ended up liking how I taught so he hired me as an official teacher there. It's an awesome experience. I get to do what I love- part time and on other hand Inshallah, I will get some blessings from Allah(Swt) for that.
As far as the school stuff goes- I do it coz I have to...NO CHOICE! Wanna be the best- and want to stand out from the rest.
And for the other thing- I make sure I find time for it because it's my NEED- the most important thing to me, my reason for living such a happy life and doing the studies and teaching which I do- I wouldn't be interested in doing any of this if it wasn't for that :D

In case you haven't notice...I talk too much...plz feel free to stop reading in the middle when you get tired. lolz
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Hahahaha, that was a good one! You guys crack me up... Anyway, it?s a good and an important topic. To me, life is more than just career, like Moazzma said. We just have to know how to manage all our roles at once. Parents, professional, family, lover, friend, student, etc... They are all equally important to me, or else we wouldnt play any of them except student! Wheres the fun in that?!
 

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Interesting dialogue.

I agree with this

Moazzma said:
No offense, but I'll have to disagree with that one. In order to stay healthy, you need to make sure you are taking care of the physical, mental, and social health
 

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Well, i wanna know how all you are evaluated, we here have an scale which goes from 0 up to 5, we have to score at least 3.0 to pass the courses.

There is said here in Colombia that if you score 5 it means that you are all about reading and learning, but you aint having any social contact with the rest of the world, and that means that you wont be a good clinician, cuz you care about the desease but don't do the same by taking care of the patient, in the other hand, scoring 3.0 means that you have too much social life :D

Getting back into line, we here, go to medical school, but we don't live in the school, like many other countries, and we can live with, wheter family, friends, or alone, doesn't matter as long as you can do things right.

When shifts start, you know you will be lonely for a while, and the only time when you can see friends or family is in lunch time or suddenly you meet them in the streets.

Being alone is not a problem unless it starts messing with your emotions, if that happens, then you know you have to stop, and breath deep, ask yourself if medicine is that important, that you'll sacrifice other things, then is supposed that you say to yourself "there are only 40 years left to be a doctor#laugh " and it should give you hope, and help you to go through the hard time you are in.


By the way, i had a lost caused by medical school, i broke up with someone cause i was in embryology course, and pass to much time with a premature birth's placenta, anyway, the girl didn't like the idea of me touching blood and stuff like that. But WTH i've met someone better in every meaning.
 

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I can't wait to answer this when I start med, but I am scared of home sickness and it hasn't even happened yet! I feel like it will affect everything :( *freaked out*
 

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No love life yet, so I don't know how it would affect me in that aspect. (Or "having no love life" the effect already? #laugh) I miss my family mostly but haven't been depressed (hopefully, won't be). I still manage to go out with my friends once a week and watch a series (two or three 45-minute episodes a week), and my class standings are good, so far. I guess it's just time management. Easier said than done, though. That's just my experience so far. I'm still on my early stages so I can't really talk big.
 
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